Trouble with Dating? Rather than Tips, Maybe it is Time to Start the Journey
If I knew half the things that I know now, almost every single piece of advice I have given in the past that had “tips or tricks” would have been thrown out the window. What I now know personally and now professionally working in a more spiritual and shamanic way with my clients is this — if you are struggling with dating, it is a symptom of something larger that needs to heal. When we are in balance physically and emotionally, relationships are not that difficult. It is the reason why therapy hasn’t always been needed. But in modern times, when we are so disconnected from our ancestors and spirituality, any help you can get is a start to the path.
Oftentimes our complaints with dating are really about not getting our needs met. After a lot of healing, you will learn that it is not the other person’s job to assist you in getting your needs met but, yes, there needs to be teamwork and collaboration on a bigger vision. Otherwise the relationship will cease to go anywhere. Sometimes we discuss those needs as sexual and sometimes we discuss those needs as more love based. Whatever the complaint is, we now know that it represents an energetic imbalance in the body. It is very common, from an energetic perspective, that the sacral chakra which represents our emotions, desires and relationships is out of balance with the throat chakra which is our center for self-expression. These two energetic centers, are in fact, linked. Many couples in couples therapy often have over activations where one partner has too much energy in one of these centers (which may tip over to a sex addiction) and the other partner is having trouble either quieting or speaking their truth. The imbalances in each individual actually balance out the energy of the relationship but both parties are not happy. They blame each other and conclude that the relationship is a failure and begin to look for someone else.
Often times, unless their is real personal development work done, the cycle repeats again. Why? Because it is one way the Universe tries to wake you up to move you to a higher level of learning, which if completed, results in more fun and less stress. I have found for myself and my clients that the older the soul, the more of this relational trauma will need to be purged and healed.
If you are like me, you are probably burnt out from healing. I know that I personally am and wish I could go back to those moments in my 20s when we had fun looking for an outfit and hoping to meet someone new at a bar. the fantasy and the anticipation of something new made dating fun. What is not fun for most people is that the mystery has been stripped away. The fantasy eroded. So our anxiety skyrockets and we have to start healing rather than enjoying the privelege our ancestors did not have of meeting new people.
Add a new level of energetic sensitivity into the mix for the spiritual girls and boys who are here to reinvent the world and dating has gone from fancy dinners, quality wine/cocktails, and intimate conversations to a lack of effort, subpar planning, and non-existent etiquette. Even today, when I went to a fancy hot chocolate place accross the street from Harrods London (which I had not been inside since I was 18), I was astounded by the lack of knowledge of the menu — which would have made sense if this were a cultural moment but it was not. I was also confronted by a father who took a chair from my table and stated, “You won’t be needing this, will you,” rather than asking if the chair was free. Not only are our dating lives a disaster, basic human interactions are struggling right now.
Dating is supposed to be fun but there is a reason why those stuffy old fashioned rules actually worked — they heighten human emotions and create a safe container for intimacy. The reason why dating is not working is that there is no safe container anymore. Learning why you are not capable of receiiving or providing that container is part of the personal development journey which, especially if you have European ancestory, is going to trigger memories of how your ancestors ate, dined and treated their partners. Even the wine or cocktail selections can be an unconscious exploration into ancesteral patterns. The basis of how our cultures sit for dinner has the capacity to help you open up to the healing of love in ways you cannot even imagine. Spontaneous moments of connection with those who may have passed could be possible with a sip of dessert wine (I know if has happened to me).
So if you are struggling, it is simply an invitation to education. The question is whether you would like to accept the invitation or not. But venting or complaining about your dating life is not going to be helpful from this point forward. The use of your words will begin to manifest exactly what you do not want. I always prefer in sessions that clients speak about what it is that they desire most rather than recount what the problems are. This is basic manifestation practices but also the foundation of the field of psychology where it is the therapist’s job to keep track of you use of words and help you see that you may be creating your own suffering.
It is a very hard lesson for most of us but, the truth is, we are mostly creating our own drama due to the need to heal mother wounds. And those wounds can start to heal when we go back to basics on how to ask, plan, set a date/time, and choose a venue conducive for intimacy. And none of this is based on how much money you have. The only limit is truly your belief in love and I would prefer to go back to the times when the belief in love was so strong, a first date was an exciting event — not an activity that produced no joy.
Remember, the struggle is the invitation. It is a path I have been on for a very long time. My thoughts about what I believed was happening years ago turned out to be false. We can only see things from the standpoint of how skillsed we are with our intuition. The trouble seeing the relationship or date as it is, is really a call for inuition training and to learn more about your mind. More than half of the United States has childhood trauma in this life time alone and the brain has been wired to see things in a particular way. It often needs to be reprogrammed before the spiritual work can truly begin.
So the next time you are getting frustrated, ask yourself what is it that you would like to learn about yourself or your mind so that your next experience can be just a little bit better. And if you have already been on a journey, be open that those frustrations may be past life triggers that are coming up for healing now. My triggers led me on the Magdalene path that led to profound healing and soul based learning about my own original abandonment wounds. Knowing this led to understanding why there were so many repetitive situations and that I was not failing — I just couldn’t remember where the original pain came from.
And it is this memory that is the key that unlocks the higher wisdom of love, intimacy and healthy human relationships.
*Originally published on Medium.com
The Real “Twin Flame” Journey is About Finding your Soul’s Truth and Remembering Who You Really Are
There is a lot going on the planet right now. In different places around the world, men and women are on spiritual journeys to finding out who they really are. My journey has not been what I expected and as I come back to a better sense of grounding, I can see the healing but I can also see the return to love. At this point, that the experience is now a highly individualized process. There is no workbook, worksheet or inner child exercise that is going to help you. It is about living your life and experiencing the energetic shifts that, one day, bring a sense of peace, passion, purpose and yes, a willingness to love and build an entirely new life.
And if you are truly on this path, the level of energetic interference, drama and healing is intense. But is returning home to who you really are worth it? I don’t know the answer to that question yet but I do know at this time I understand most things that have happened to me the way they did. And that brings peace and an ability to think about starting a new life more in alignment with who I really am. They led to profound ancesteral healing.
And hopefully starting a new chapter where there is more enjoyment, fun, empire building, wealth, happiness and service to others.
When I started this journey, I had lost myself. I did not know anything about how your energy or destiny could be affected. I did not know there were things as soul swapping or beings so energetically entangled with your parents that you live a life that is not yours. When you see why you were activated at such a deep level, you will one day laugh — It is a major course correction and high level spiritual training. Things are not what they seem to be when the energy of your heart is so overly activated and you have not descended fully into your body.
A twin flame activation is NOT a romantic story all the way through. It is more akin to a warrior initiation that used to be done solo but this happens to involve you remembering everything about what it is like to be in relationship with another. It, therefore, happens to be part of an overall acsension process of remembering ancient cultures, how energy works between two people (or more if energy decides to shift) and remembering who you are in this lifetime.
It also starts to teach you boundaries with souls that may be a part of that original story but you have the power to choose your right path.
In so following the path, you will seek whatever learning is necessary to heal your mind, body and soul. You will likely become an encyclopedia of knowledge when all you really desire is love. Let’s face it — the Universe needs to be creative to get all of us moving in a particular direction. Love, sex, intimacy and relationships is highly motivating for many humans. It may even be more motivating than money and wealth but the learning of all of these topics will likely take place over the course of the process. It is a deep dive for those of us with European ancestery into the original wounds related to the Jesus-Mary Magdalene traditions. So the process involves deep spiritual healing and opening of the hart to a higher level of Christ Consciousness rather than simply calling in your life partner.
It is a responsibility that one must choose to take.
When my first activation happened, I thought I was in the light when I met him. He wasn’t the one and I was not in the light. Without going through the details as I have already written about that in a previous book, I had to be shown what really happened in past lives. I had to be shown my own behavior. I had to be shown that that activation was an initation process of remembering sacred sexuality, priestess lifetimes, religious trauma (and beauty connected to more simple lives), and yes intergalatic drama, karma, trauma and all kinds of unnecessary nonsense. All of this had to happen to prepare to remember what love is — something that I intimately knew as a child and lost during my Saturn Return.
I can now say, without a doubt, there is no other journey that will teach you about love on the human plane more and the things you learn on the way are part of your soul’s memories of gifts you have achieved previously. The things that you are pissed at your family with, you will discover were done out of love or there was such a high level of energetic interference, there was no other decision than walk the path.
So, as I tell my clients, if your soul is not stubborn enough to commit to therapy or personal development do not call in this experience. But if you are brave, stubborn and probably have been a warrior king or queen in the past, get ready to for the new hero’s journey where you remember how utterly non-compliant, powerful and hopelessly willing to die for love you have been in the past. For when you see this, every single stupid piece of relationship advice your have heard, read or listened to will cease to be helpful. Your commitment issues will die. Your anxiety will fall away. You will cross over and realize what life really is on this planet.
And then you will return to your yoga class, self-care, and doing simply human things while you await a new love story that has the capacity to ground in the real world. You will build a business. Live your life. And simply remember who you really are grounded to Planet earth living a life without fear and a higher level of peace.
And just maybe then, you will return back to doing the things that you love and prepare for you rise in humanity as one of the humans capable of staying human during another unprecedented rise in AI, technology and the loss of relational understanding needed for balance as we move forward to our next homework assignment from the Universe. From victimization to freedom we go to learn who we really are….
The Divine Feminine and the Light
Happy Easter everyone. We are half way through an intense eclipse portal and I was urged to record a really beautiful healing I had today. There has been so much healing that was necessary through my mother’s lineage regarding the healing of feminine energies. That journey took me to Turkey where I started to learn and be incubated into an an energy that help clear my womb. So much learning to facilitate the healing work in the last few years.
But today, I was taken back to a healer who I knew was more deeply connected to my father’s lineage - who I have learned has deep ties to spirituality since my very first incarnation and has been a shaman (along with another family member). This woman is a Mexican cuadera with a similar life background to my education and travel experiences who is open that she did not find her spiritual home until she followed her father’s ancesteral lineage back to Mexico. I last worked with her in 2020 which is when the switch to heal my mother’s lineage of Christianity happened. I was urged to listen to a podcast from the beautiful healer that was recorded in July 2020 and I was transported back in time before the work that was obviously needed commenced. Her words resonated with me more than ever and I was called back to a Mayan healing music and meditation - something I had researched in the past due to my connection to the planet Venus and feminine work I had done through my mother’s lineage.
You know you are on another healing journey when the things that you need show up without it being hard. Earlier in the day I was working on a new course when an academic article about Mary Magdalene as a Sacred Sexual Priestess emerged. Then I find this meditation and a beautiful soul healing was completed. There was a big energy purge, tears and a lot of clarity that emerged.
“The Divine Feminine and the Light,” were the words that came to me as I held both of my parent’s hands in this life time - representing the healing of old wounds in a broken family were now healed. I was the bridge, the conduit for holding the space and the energy of a new template of family to emerge into the cosmos. But what was even more beautiful was the vision of them walking me hand in hand toward my future husband telling me that it was time to take everything I had learned and to create in the material world from the place where my heart had been broken from the start. A world that will respect and honor the light and the divine feminine in all cultures and where she will not be disappointed by the masculine in the form of a male body.
Tears are still streaming down my face as I recount this spontaneous healing and profound relief that the divisions and separations that I experienced my entire life between my families, between religions and spiritual beliefs (or lack thereof), between the light and dark and between the spiritual world and the material world have dissolved back into union. Perfectly in alignment with the meaning of resurrection on Easter Sunday.
Earlier in the day, I was writing in a hotel lobby when an American man kept talking about his phone and his acupuncture practice. At first I was intrigued but the energy felt off. Then my the batteries on all technology died and I felt exhausted. I am glad I followed my instincts and returned to where I was staying - a very humble place with a large number of men from Europe and the middle east roaming around. I know it is no mistake that this moment happened in this environment (also not far from Kensington Palace) - the light, the well, and the memories of the divine feminine spiritual journey transpiring in a little nook or cocoon of safety.
What will be created I do not know yet. But the important message that is relevant to my generation of Americans is this: You are here to be a bridge between your sides of the family, to heal what needs to be healed and to then begin to rebuild a world that is so desperately in need of love and support. This bridge, until now, was your physical body as you - on your own - worked on your journey of liberation. But the future is more relational and that bridge will become ancesteral as is in accordance with the divine feminine principal of community and cooperation. All divisions will need to be healed and we signed up to help humanity do that work.
So be the bridge wherever you are and welcome the connection between the light and the divine feminine in all parts of the world as a demonstration for the completion of the healing of our father wounds and making way to healing our mother wounds on the material plane. Creating, building and thriving are the directions for the future.
When the Healing is Complete: A Return to Art, Culture, and Luxury
Right now the world of healing, priestesses, yoga people and wellness professionals are working with you on healing broken hearts and your anxiety. But it can be helpful to know that the role of those of us who have souls from the Pleiades or feel a connection to Venus in all of her incarnations are here to create a beautiful world. A world that is not just about love but a world that makes luxury an everyday knowing without question. We are keepers and the guardians of all art, culture, fashion, luxury and heart based connections. The histories of art and fashion whether it is visual or part of our retail world remains the domain and purview of those of us who have lived many past lives perfecting our artistic crafts.
Yet something happened in the twentieth century. Many of these sectors became toxic. I have met many people who have left fashion and the art world because of the energetic toxicity, competitiveness, and lack of inspiration these industries now create for the world. What was supposed to healing has become something the next generation has rejected. It is understandable as we are rejecting everything that does not feel good right now. But at the end of the day, we have a duty and responsibility to fix these industries so that the world comes back together.
I remember my years that I lived in New York and was trying to write and seek creative inspiration. I would walk the streets of Fifth Avenue or Madison Avenue and look at the window displays. Back then, they were crafted for artistic merit not just to sell a luxury product. Looking at these windows created an energy in my body that kept telling me to keep going on whatever creative project I was working on. The energy associated with the luxury markets, at that time, was healing.
Now. It is hard to find that energy in the big names that were once part of iconic New York. The spiritual energy is attempting to destroy it and yet this is a misguided and immature response to a problem that needs to be fixed…now. Not later.
Currently, I am sitting next to the next generation playing cards at a coffee shop. It saddens me. There is no innovation. There is no creativity. It is simply a break. And while we need the break, what I have learned from my years as a professional psychologist is this:
A new world is not created from a place of comfort. It is created from a larger vision and stepping into a higher level of responsibility for who you are and what you need to give to the world. Remembering who you really are is necessary but so is the dedication to making the changes. When we leave industries without figuring out how to pass the baton to people who know how to fix the issues, we fail to create a new world. When we judge luxury without recognizing that some of us are here to bring it back in a mindful and conscious manner, we fail to create a new world for all.
The role of the spiritual energy is not just to help you individually heal. It is to also push you into the next stage of creating a new world that has a level of sophistication that honors and respects the history and traditions of the past and yet makes room for the technological and creative innovations of the future.
Our world will need to move beyond just health and wellness to anchor a new world. It will also have to move past just heart based connections and having fun to create a new world. Parents of young children now understand this and it is hard right now to figure out how to prepare them for this future.
A trip to Italy and France would probably help. Any place that maintains the wisdom of art and culture will need to be reseurrected along side the spiritual energy of the planet in order to bring the light of something that feels new and supportive. This energy - the energy of tradition cannot be replicated. All cultures will be forced to look within and build from their own foundations. To build from their own history. To honor and respect their own artists, writers, designers, fashion and culture. When this happens and when we are done healing, how amazing the world will be - along side mother earth.
This is the role of a spiritual soul is to remember that all of it matters for the health of our future and the dismissal of art and culture in the name of the environment is simply more abuse of feminine energies that seek to create on this planet. And creation is really what we are here to do now - not just take care of our families…It is time to take care of the world.
So what are you going to create today that honors our future?
The Energetics of Our Interest in Spirituality versus Money
If someone even tried to explain to me how spirituality or the energy of money actually worked when I was younger, I probably would have told them they were out of their minds. Yet, I have come to learn how my own energy works and it is clear that the successes that I had earlier in life were directly tied to the energy of men in my family who did well financially. This was wisdom that my mother knew, perhaps unconsciously, and this is what has been healing most recently. Balancing the need for emotional support with learning how the energy of wealth manifests in the body. And I can tell you that we need to be far more cautious if we are American about how far we go on a healing journey before we are ready. Other cultures have mastered this lesson and will be seeking healing in other aspects of their life but I have found that our sense of independene and entitlement interferes with these lessons.
The energetics of money, for many of us, has nothing to do with manifestation but more to do with connection. Part of the dangers of a healing process that does not take into account the importance of our root chakra (located in our lower legs which is related to our ancestors, trauma, and need for stability) is that we end up flying up and experiencing what we believe is liberation from our suffering - only to be asked to deal with the density of our root chakra wounds which also include our physical health. I have personally dealt with this my entire journey and keep asking for more and more stability - yet it doesn’t always happen. Why? It is the energy of the people I am connected to ever since the energy of my childhood has been wiped clean.
While I have healed a significant amount of trauma, that process also ripped the energy of men who were energetically providing for me - meaning that marriage was something that should have happened out of the need for my energetic protection (but ov This is how those of us who need to work in partnership in all aspects of our lives operate. If you have studied human design or the gene keys, you will recognize these patters as a generator - we are not here to manifest per se, we are here to respond to the outside world and our energy systems are intimately tied to other people.
The most toxic pattern related to these dynamics I have come across is the energy of a thriving feminine energy in the body of a man who does not understand his responsibility to people, many who are women, who carry the wisdom of the masculine energy. While he has spent the last few years building an empire, acquiring social media followers and living his best life as a single person, the energy of the masculine in a woman’s body has suffered - and it has often come at a financial loss we explain away as a spiritual rite of passage. I do not believe this. I believe this is an ancient re-experiencing of how we lost our temples and our spiritual life in the first place. We can sit and use affirmations all we want but if the issue is an energetic one that is based in the body AND the mind is relatively quiet now, the solution needs to be different. We have a lot to learn.
Why is this important in modern day relationships? It is a wake up call that things have shifted and changed. Most of us will likely not be able to manifest things without social connections and our dating lives present us with opportunities and distractions from who we really are. We can have lots of fun, yes, but we also need to be more mindful of how all these energetics are affecting other people. It is where our boundaries with the manipulation of feminine and spiritual energy needs to be set.
I have suffered recently because the very energy of who I am and my life purpose as someone who is here just to have fun and live my life as literally been lifted out of my body (and yet I know I am also learning something new). The need for energetic protection is an understatement for magical people these days. But having survived this part of my journey and watching what is manifesting all over the world with regard to the need for breaking rules and doing things that look like they are the best for the single person is only going to lead to things falling apart if it is coming from the feminine in a man’s body who does not respect his counterparts.
It is for this reason that I still believe in the importance of partnership in business, our love lives, and in anything that requires cooperation, negotiation and moving humanity forward. But in order for things to manifest in a healthy way, the dynamics of money will need to change and move away from those that simply want to be single and manifest on their own to the manifestation of new legacies through partnership - in whatever way that looks for people.
The age of Aqaurius will bring in innovations in family life and relationships in general. I am disappointed that we only see innovation in the context of our sex lives and believe that having multiple partners is an innovation. It is not. It is just an ancient remembering of past lives. We can all be doing better but the shift that will need to be made is waking up to the realization that we do not know what is coming but we do have control over how we respond and who we respond with.
My heart goes out to all families with young children trying to figure out how to prepare their children for this new energetic realities. My heart also goes out to people, like me, who have desired partnership for a long time but recieved a much necessary healing and transformational process instead. We know deep down the importance of partnership in all aspects of our lives and may be struggling to ground into a new life that is fully in alignment with who we are.
Be patient with yourself as this new wisdom starts to become everyday knowledge. Relationships will be changing in ways we cannot see yet and I am going to choose to see them as the gateway for the manifestation of wealth that has the power to bring into balance how social media and technology has recently created wealth for so many people. We all deserve wealth and it should not matter how our personal energies systems work. That collaboration is in the making but if people with the money do not step into their humanitarian roles soon, an entire generation of some of the most intelligent, healthy and creative souls will have sacrificed their career and desires for a world that simply refuses to change.
That is not the reality I want to live in any longer. I believe the world can become a better place when we realize how to use energetics for the greater good and not just in the manifestation of our personal business endeavors or our love lives. It is an energy that is not just connected to the heart and we need to expand beyond what we already know and start to open up to the new world which seeks to be born through those of us who have done this healing work.
How to Date a Modern Day Priestess
In every loving woman there is a priestess of the past.
There is so much healing going on the planet right now. Much of it has been related to healing the heart and opening up back to the idea of love and intimacy again. Often this signals a time for the need to work on relationships, think about marriage and approach the topic of sex after a long period of healing.
To no fault of their own, the conscious dating and sacred sexuality communities have made it difficult for the modern day person who is drawn to someone who has activated their priestess memories or may even be practicing their priestess/yogini lifestyle to learn. In our ancient temples and old ways of being in the world, it was she who carried the wisdom and the knowledge and it was he who sought out help. Many of us will remember the times when we served along side a spiritual partner and remembering and healing these traumas is an antidote to sexual repression and can lead to a womb awakening as well.
Dating a modern day priestiess or yogi/yogini is not like it was twenty years ago. This person has had trauma literally ripped out of their body, has become more sensitive over time and is seeking inner peace. Her wisdom, however, knows that dating will now become a divine rite of passage for someone who may not be fully awakened. I understand well that process as it was on the social dance floor where much of what became part of my healing journey was activated.
But what happens when people don’t want to learn to social dance or come from more traditional cultures?
We go back and answer your questions about sexual innuendos….
Lingerie shopping. Our world has lost its ability to talk about sex and intimacy in a healthy way. Many people, men in particular, find it difficult and challenging to even walk into a lingerie store and enjoy the process of shopping. If the gift is for someone you are newly seeing, asking for their size and preferences is helpful but so is making sure the conversation is comfortable. Too many people, especially women, have not yet done enough trauma work to enjoy a conversation about luxury underwear right now. But if the modern day priestess or yogini can remember that it is in their power and rite to change the energy of the communication - the interaction can clear a lot of miscommunication up front about personal preferences. How does one surrender and do that? BE OPEN TO RECEIVING and unapologetic if the offering is not of high enough value but do not get bossy, dictatorial or mean in your response. There is no need for judgment, hostility or a lecture. Those are signs that you need to heal. It is an opportunity to teach and a priestess, yogini or spiritual person will use humor over criticism to move humanity forward.
What can one teach with the simple offer of lingerie? A discussion of whether you like the feel of certain fabrics. A discussion on visual preferences and color. A discussion that turns into modern day poetry and a longing to not just unwrap the gift but to unwrap something more between you. If handled correctly, a botched offering lacking in social graces can be an opportunity to uplevel your status with a potential suitor - if that is what you choose to do. You have all the power to transform the interaction into anything you wish.
But far too often we shut it down. All I can say is that there is always a need for us to master these more difficult, sexually oriented conversations to ascend. Try to use your higher wisdom to stay open and not to judge. Look at why it makes you uncomfortable and be honest about cultural norms. Is it time for change? Is there a trauma coming up for healing? Or do you have undiscovered aspects of yourself that you have not been honest with. Most of us run from the dark feminine energy but she is who does the true healing.
If you are the one buying the gift, there is only one word you need to concern yourself with - QUALITY. If you invest in lingerie as an art form without any expectation - your gift denotes a higher level seriousness and will come with an energy that can be healing for all parties involved. If it comes with a story - even better as it also became RELATIONAL. A moment in time that everyone will remember.
At the end of the day, do not buy lingerie just because you want to have sex with someone. Buy lingerie to start the beginnings of a romance that transcends time and brings a mindful view of life’s simple pleasures. Be open, however, to whether she values these offerings in general and respect her personal values.
And if you are receiving the gift, receive it in a way that makes you feel in alignment with who you are and honors and respects the connection with the other person. If the gift is not appropriate (e.g. from a client or a colleague) simply return it without opening it and say, “thank you.” Nothing else is needed or warranted but a simple no. But be open that if there is anything other than a ping of joy, there may be deeper work asking you to be honest with what it is you really desire most…
Why the Rose Lineage and Modern Day Psychology
If you told me when I started my career at 18 that I would end up feeling deep admiration and aligment with Mary Magdalene, the Egyptian goddesses and anything related to divine love, I would have told you you were out of your minds. To then add the wisdom of the masculine path which speaks to the reclaiming of the relationship between Yeshua and his mother, I would have told you that you have me confused with someone else. Add modern day transpersonal psychology, where we now have the scientific wisdom to use the mind to heal things we thought were impossible to see and you realize we have entered a new world.
The Rose lineage, the wisdom of Yeshua and his relationship with his mother and modern day, transpersonal psychology will all be needed in this new era for healing not only the heart but healing our relationhips with anything feminine. It will also be necessary for us to see, perhaps for the first time, on a large scale why it is so important for souls in mens bodies to have a healthy and thriving relationship with their mothers. This is, in fact, part of the wisdom that is imbedded deep in our ancesteral histories that we simply cannot deny much longer.
Why do we have so many relationship struggles when the wisdom is sitting waiting for us to remember? We struggle because we have not fully awakened and most of us have not followed both the masculine and feminine paths - leading us right back to duality and a prioritization of one over the other as superior. In traditional cultures, where marriage is often seen as a balancing of these energies - there hasn’t been a need to do this much introspection. Until now, that is. In order to do higher levels of collective trauma healing across he globe - we are going to have to start working out the mind (not through games and puzzles I might add) and healing wombs (or the space that corresponds to that in a man’s body).
In other words, psychology will need to continue to evolve to meet the needs of cultures emerging to a new time and this psychology will require us to not only learn to manage emotions but to learn to open up the energy centers connected to the mind that allow a more balanced integration of energies.
In other words, our healing across the globe cannot just be heart centered. This is why there seems to be a lack of sexuality, sensuality and passion. The heart is the realm of Yeshua and his mother or the healing of mother wounds (and our relationship with the earth herself). But it is the wisdom of the Magdalenes and the shamans that add the mental workout necessary to see that our need for creativity, passion, sexuality and desire is the gateway for manifestation that has been blocked for far too long.
Without the integration of the mind with the womb, we risk repeating thousands of years of relationship drama for no reason. It simply does not need to be this way anymore. Life is not supposed to be just heart centered. Nor, as the ancient yogis have taught, can it stay just womb centered. We are being asked to grow and reach for the stars but to not forget to take this wisdom with us on our path toward integration.
So while there may be a necessary desire to sit in luxury hotels and eat amazing food (sign me up please), we are also being asked to learn and grow. The mind needs to open to the unseen world. It needs you to open to your soul’s story. It needs you to heal your relationships from a higher perspective. It is not enough to have a love affair with your mother or wife any longer nor is it enough for women to claim their power through motherhood alone. The Magdalene traditions seek the solar priestess who understands the power of intelligence and the mind when it is in balance with the wisdom of the heart and the womb.
And what will be exciting is that all new paths will now open to each and everyone of us if claim our interest to learn and realize that if we want peace and change in the world, we have to do our schoolwork and learn in whatever way, shape or form moves us forward.
For me, that started on a dancefloor. But I did not know I was dancing on the path to healing my heart and learning about Yeshua and mother wounds. I thought I was falling deeply in love with myself. Turns out, I was falling deeply in love with the wisdom of the Universe who has been teaching me about love and relationships my entire life and for the thousands of years my soul has been trying to heal abandonment wounds.
And then she started speaking to me - Mary Magdalene and her lineage. And she reminded me that the mother wound healing work was just the beginning to remembering who I really am as a woman. The path is a powerful initiation for anyone and only those who are brave enough to face the darkness will get through it.
It is for this reason, modern day transpersonal psychology was invented. She is not going to let you walk the path in the dark when the wisdom is found in the light of intelligence.
Preface to Dr. J’s New Book, “Sex and Awakening”
Please note that this book is still in editing and negotiating publishing options. Your feedback is welcome and I would love a collaborative effort to move this creative project to completion. Any comments on characters, locations, food, drinks or activities are welcome. Think of it as a “design your new life” creative project and let’s see what happens together.
Preface
A man came to me when I was at a crossroads in life. He offered his love, which felt like the flowers he sent for our first anniversary and our first Valentine’s Day. We went on many adventures, to Europe and Asia and islands in between, and decided we would start a business together. But it did not work out as well as I had planned. Well, the love part. Years later, I traveled to Montreal and saw him again. We learned that it wasn’t meant to be. Our love had faded with time, kindling not fed by our desire for each other but burned out by a lack of meaning in life. A lack of passion in a strange world we didn't know how to navigate and clueless on how to fix. We went our own ways but never forgot each other.
I am a woman deeply or used to be deeply connected to my sensuality and inner desires. Our culture somehow refers to this as “feminine presence.” I never understood what exactly anyone was actually talking about until I learned to dance. After that relationship ended, I couldn't feel my heart. I couldn't feel my body. My soul needed intimacy. I started to learn to dance but my soul felt lost and I didn't know what to do.
It was only after multiple dance failures that my esteemed teachers sent me to yoga to learn to meditate. I was angry at first but they turned out to be right. I couldn't relax enough to allow anyone to touch my body without my muscles tensing up or reacting to a partner. I blamed them every step of the way without knowing I was the one with work to do.
Yet, no amount of yoga would have prepared me for the trials of the dance floor. The sweeping arches of my feet were unable to hold me up, no matter how hard I tried to control every muscle in my legs and hips. My hips wouldn't sway and the pain held inside spoke to emotions I was too scared to face. My posture was terrible and my arms flailed around like an awkward bird trying to take flight from its perch at the edge of the nest. And even though I had my fitness routine with my private pilates instructor and was going to yoga, it wasn’t until I stepped on the dance floor that I realized how broken my body was.
My mind and body were not one and I became determined to fix it all.
I remember when I saw him the first time on the dance floor at a gala event: His smooth shoulders tapering down into his hips, his perfect cheekbones accented by blazing green eyes, his glowingly tan skin glistening with just the right amount of sweat in the nightclub lights, and all my soul wanted to do was touch him: Feel his heartbeat against mine when we danced together as one. Yet, fear kept whispering that there was no way I could ever dance with him. I was clueless; my movements were awkward and seemed more like those of a pigeon than anything else. So I watched while the stirring in my heart ached with desire to move my body and know her true limits. I watched while the jealousy and frustration rose up my spine and taunted me with my own self-imposed fear.
"You can't do it," the fear whispered. "The fuck she can't," the soul finally started to speak.
On the night of a full moon a short time later, I stepped into the grand dance hall again. My eyes were drawn to a young man who exuded sensuality in every movement. He felt familiar to me. The way his body flowed with the music spoke of years of training and dedication. He was here, in Paris, teaching a class on the art of touch. Looking around the room, I saw a mix of eager students and industry leaders alike all watching him intently, desperate to learn his ways. But as he moved closer to demonstrate the proper way to hold a partner, I noticed their uncertainty and hesitation. They lacked the confidence and trust in their own bodies necessary for this intimate art form. I watched as he masterfully corrected their postures. I vowed then and there that I would not be like them. I would learn this dance if it was the last thing I ever did. I left the event with frustration and booked the necessary private lessons. I committed to the journey. I wasn't there for just the party. I wanted to learn.
Five years later, I found myself back in Paris, no longer a beginner but a seasoned tango and ballroom dancer with a deep love for yoga as well. My journey to reclaim my body as part of the pathway to healing the heart began before I knew what was happening.
With all that time, I didn’t expect to see him again, but there he was, teaching hundreds of students at a time. He exuded an innocent sensuality, the kind that made me forget myself and want to save the entire world. I took his class and got up close enough to watch the movement of his muscles as they worked with the music; how they moved beneath the skin in response to each other, creating a singular orchestra of movement. His grace reminded me of a Hollywood actor, before all the Hollywood glamor and fame destroyed his talent. As he turned away from the last student, lingering by the edge of the stage, I thought about approaching him. Instead he walked over and touched my shoulder gently before standing in front of me.
His piercing eyes peered into mine as pheromones radiated from him like a fog being lifted off the beach by the warm ocean air at high tide; intoxicating my senses until I felt paralyzed. Before I could say anything, he asked, "May I?" Two words that were so very simple yet which stirred my soul that lived in my heart; like an aphrodisiac for which there is no antidote.
My partner moved his hand gently down my spine. Tears streamed down my face as I remembered how broken my heart still was. I could feel his hand on my shoulder blades sending an energy into my heart that I didn’t think I was capable of handling. As he watched a single tear drop from my eyes, he encouraged me to use my emotions in my dancing. To love and to feel on the dance floor. To be one with the music and the story being created. A story of love lost and perhaps found.
He started to lead me into the middle of the dance floor and I followed. My body felt suddenly weightless, as if all the pain and sorrow of my past had been swept away and something else was born in its place. She was powerful, confident, passionate - a force inside me that until now I hadn't been able to access or express on my own. He held me close as we moved together in perfect harmony. With each passing moment I could feel my walls crumbling, freeing me from the fear that had held me back for so long. I was no longer scared of real love - or so I thought.
The music stopped and he paused in our embrace, looking into my eyes with quiet understanding. He whispered one more time, "Please stay after class. I have something to tell you." My heart raced with anticipation and fear as I nodded in response, knowing that whatever came next could make or break me; but this time I wasn't running away. This time I knew that no matter what happened, I would find the strength to keep going. I would face my fear of love and not run away.
As I watched him teach his students, it hit me why I always ended up on a dance floor. It was where my past life soulmates found me. His soul was familiar to me. I've tapped into spirit for as long as I can remember and learned that before enlightenment comes darkness. My guides taught me this: we must forget before we remember. We may be unconscious but the people we meet along our path are key players in helping us remember who we really are.
But nothing helps you prepare for realizing the darkness you need to face actually hides deep within your own subconscious desires. It's only when you awaken that you come to terms with the idea that those dreams might never have belonged to you in the first place, but were part of an intricate scheme meant to tear you down so you could become something or someone far greater than you ever thought possible.
He came over to me after the class ended. There were no words as he rested his forehead on mine and covered my ears. Melodic music with a deep sound vibrated through my body and stirred the urning of my soul. I couldn't breathe but could feel our hearts beating as one. And with one sentence, I was launched on a life changing adventure, "I love you. May your journey lead you to finding who you really are."